Fri, 20 May 2016 14:33:59 GMT

The Silmarillion (or: If You Try Hard And Believe In Yourself, Your Family Drama Can Destroy A Continent)
Prologue: Choir Auditions Today (Improvisational Jazz Not Welcome)

Introduction: Dear World, Meet Your New Bosses

1. Melkor Says Light Is For Squares

2. Aulë Gets To Sleep On The Couch

3. The Elves Take A Road Trip

4. Getting Distracted By A Hot Girl Only Leads To Good Things

5. Paradise Is A Sort-Of Island In The Middle Of Nowhere

6. This Pardon Is Absolutely The Right Decision

7. The Best Way To Deal With Stress Is Infighting

8. Melkor Says Light Is For Squares (Again)

9. Fëanor Makes A Rash Decision

10. Teamwork And Magic Can Fix Anything

11. The Valar Say Light Is Awesome

12. Men Shall (Eventually) Inherit The Earth

13. Cliffhangers Suck

14. Everybody Gets A Kingdom

15. Banning A Language Will Totally Solve Your Problems

16. Orphan Does His Best To Fit In After Horrible Childhood

17. Men Show Up Fifteen Minutes Late With Starbucks

18. There Is Absolutely No Way It Can Get Worse

19. The Happiest People In This Book Have Fun Adventures

20. It Got Worse

21. You Won’t Believe How Awful This Guy’s Life Is

22. Aggressive Negotiations Make Everyone Hate You

23. When Ulmo Says Leave, You Leave

24. The Valar Get Dangerous

Interlude: Colonialism Is Caused By Devil Worship

Epilogue: By Now You Should Have Learned Not To Trust Jewelry

stolen from here

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