tag:dreamwidth.org,2014-11-22:2346254 needscounselling needscounselling 2016-05-20T14:38:07Z tag:dreamwidth.org,2014-11-22:2346254:345 2016-05-20T14:33:59Z 2016-05-20T14:38:07Z public 0 <div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-large;">The Silmarillion (or: If You Try Hard And Believe In Yourself, Your Family Drama Can Destroy A Continent)<br /><span style="font-size: large;">Prologue: Choir Auditions Today (Improvisational Jazz Not Welcome)</span><br /></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;">Introduction: Dear World, Meet Your New Bosses<br /><br />1. Melkor Says Light Is For Squares<br /><br />2. Aul&euml; Gets To Sleep On The Couch<br /><br />3. The Elves Take A Road Trip<br /><br />4. Getting Distracted By A Hot Girl Only Leads To Good Things<br /><br />5. Paradise Is A Sort-Of Island In The Middle Of Nowhere<br /><br />6. This Pardon Is Absolutely The Right Decision<br /><br />7. The Best Way To Deal With Stress Is Infighting<br /><br />8. Melkor Says Light Is For Squares (Again)<br /><br />9. F&euml;anor Makes A Rash Decision<br /><br />10. Teamwork And Magic Can Fix Anything <br /><br />11. The Valar Say Light Is Awesome<br /><br />12. Men Shall (Eventually) Inherit The Earth<br /><br />13. Cliffhangers Suck<br /><br />14. Everybody Gets A Kingdom<br /><br />15. Banning A Language Will Totally Solve Your Problems<br /><br />16. Orphan Does His Best To Fit In After Horrible Childhood<br /><br />17. Men Show Up Fifteen Minutes Late With Starbucks<br /><br />18. There Is Absolutely No Way It Can Get Worse<br /><br />19. The Happiest People In This Book Have Fun Adventures<br /><br />20. It Got Worse<br /><br />21. You Won&rsquo;t Believe How Awful This Guy&rsquo;s Life Is<br /><br />22. Aggressive Negotiations Make Everyone Hate You<br /><br />23. When Ulmo Says Leave, You Leave<br /><br />24. The Valar Get Dangerous<br /><br />Interlude: Colonialism Is Caused By Devil Worship<br /><br />Epilogue: By Now You Should Have Learned Not To Trust Jewelry </span><br /><br />stolen from <a href="http://incorrecttolkienquotes.tumblr.com/post/122765849516/the-silmarillion-or-if-you-try-hard-and-believe">here</a></div><br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=needscounselling&ditemid=345" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments